When Love is an Affliction

Poem copyright by Nicholas Gordon
When love is an affliction,
There’s not much one can do.
Despite the way you’ve treated me,
I’m still in love with you.

I am the wave and you the rock
Against which I must break:
Again, again the crushing jolt,
The pain I can’t forsake;

Again, again the long retreat
To safety, far from shore,
And then again, I don’t know why,
The long trip back for more.

Perhaps it is nostalgia for
A long uncertain glow,
Or just some hope so beautiful
I cannot let it go.

Perhaps it is the need to try
For those who must depend
On who we are and what we do,
For whom this should not end.

What evil makes you hurt me so,
What defect of the heart?
What sense there is no greater whole
Of which you are a part?

What lonely choice that only you
Be served by what you choose?
What hard, hard fear of losing what
It is a gift to lose?

I dream sometimes my waiting love
Has made you turn again.
But you care only for yourself,
And I must love in vain.

Found at PoemsforFree.com

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There was a time when I was sure
that you and I were truely one,
that our future was forever
and would never come undone,
and we came so close to be close…
and thought you cared for me
there’s distance in your eyes tonight
so we’re not meant to be.

The love is gone,
the love is gone,
the sweetest dream
that we had ever known.
The love is gone,
the love is gone,
I wish you well
but I must leave you now alone.

There comes a moment in your life
like a window, and you see
that your future is there before you
and how perfect life would be,
but adventures call with unknown voices
pulling you away…
Be careful or you may regret
the choices you made someday…

When love is gone,
when love is gone,
the sweetest dream
that we had ever known.
When love is gone,
when love is gone,
I wish you well
but I must leave you now alone.

It was almost love,
it was almost always,
it was like a fairytale we’d live out
you and I.
And yes some dreams come true,
and yes some dreams go trough…
and yes the time has come
for us to say goodbye.

Yes some dreams come true,
and yes some dreams go trough…
yes the time has come
for us to say goodbye.

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The poster models for cross-political romance have long been James Carville and Mary Matalin — same pit-bull personalities, just polar opposites on the political spectrum. And all one hears — from anti-war, Prius-driving, smug-alert leftists to gun-toting, Coulter-reading, Ford-boycotting right-wingers — is shock and awe at how, oh how, James and Mary can co-exist without a homicide, never mind within the blissful bonds of matrimony.

I’ll theorize why it works in a way that you won’t hear from the lecterns at CPAC: They probably have great sex.

“He has these wonderfully unpredictable love bursts,” Matalin told Salon in 1997. Yep; I figured.

As a moderate rightie who has happily dated on the other side of the political spectrum, I can say that if you’re that passionate about the issues, it usually carries over into other aspects of your life. If you clash over the issues, at some point you’ve gotta make up. If you find someone who challenges you, you’ve got it made.

A colleague once put it so: There are smug liberals and sarcastic liberals, and pious conservatives and irreverent conservatives. Smug liberals and pious conservatives can’t stand each other. Sarcastic liberals and irreverent conservatives, however, easily get along, and can howl at the “South Park” episode lampooning George Clooney’s Oscar speech without getting offended. For the most part, it’s a highly accurate assessment.

While I’m definitely an irreverent conservative now, in college I was more of a bombthrower, writing more to piss off campus liberals than make reasoned, seasoned arguments. Yeah, it wasn’t journalistically sound, but it made for some interesting relationships — like my favorite leftist love, who, in deference to our debates over “The Communist Manifesto,” I’ll call Karl.

Our romance began as many college relationships do, over cheap brew and loud music while fraternity-party hopping on a Saturday night. Our romance then progressed as those college relationships do: back to his fraternity pad for hours of kissing. If it seemed by that point we were doomed to only about as much depth as, well, many college relationships, things took an interesting turn.

In the middle of the smoochfest, we talked about world and societal affairs; he described with a classic Irish temper his anger at hearing a table full of customers liberally drop the N-word at the restaurant where he waited tables. I was hooked: When it came down to it, a guy passionately promoting racial equality was hotter than a conservative ex-boyfriend who’d dedicated his entire campus existence to crushing the “libtards.”

Plus, the fact that Karl was a fantastic kisser didn’t hurt. I’m only human.

I ribbed him when he went to a state Democratic Party convention; he ribbed me when I went to an event called the Rush Limbaugh Picnic. We argued over the redistribution of wealth even as neither of us had any wealth to redistribute. Our discussions and banter only made the relationship more exciting.

But like the fractious wings of the Republican Party should be doing nowadays, in a cross-party romance you also have to focus on the things on which you agree. On everything else, you can enjoy quibbling and making up.

So if bipartisan romances are doable, are they also preferable?

There are high points. For starters, leftist boyfriends won’t criticize or act creeped out around your gay friends. And contrary to popular belief that they’re indoctrinated in a school of “impoliteness equals equality,” they hold open doors and pick up the check as often as their conservative counterparts. Liberal men also have the potential to take some of the identity politics, so to speak, out of relationships: Duties are shared rather than branded “women’s work,” and these guys seem to be less hurt or offended if a woman decides to keep her maiden name.

A liberal man may make a good match for more independent, free-spirited, career-oriented, driven women. Before meeting Karl, I had a conservative boyfriend who told me that women shouldn’t be police officers. I was a criminology major, so that went over really well. It soon became apparent that he was looking for not so much a partner in crime as a little woman to ring the dinner bell (literally — he was a farmer). Strike out!

But when it comes down to it, party affiliation may not have as much to do with compatibility as what kind of man he actually is. Later in life, I would date a conservative political player only to discover that he’d not been forthcoming about his personal life – namely, having a wife and kiddies at home. As most relationships teach you some sort of life lesson, this one taught me a political lesson as well: Neither party has a monopoly on values.

Of course, there are some values points on which those looking for the love of their life won’t compromise. Leftists also weigh their own dealer-breakers when considering love among us warmongering conservatives. That is, until they get tired of dating ecoterrorists — a real complaint I recently heard from a nice, eligible lefty guy.

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extracted from USNews

Last night while attending the Washington Press Club’s annual dinner for members of Congress and the journalists who cover them, I resigned myself to the fact that, being a health writer, I probably wouldn’t know anyone there besides my office colleagues. After making a beeline for the bathroom, I was surprised and delighted to meet Abigail Trafford, a health columnist for the Washington Post who told me she used to work for U.S. News. She was standing next to Miss America—the crown was a dead giveaway—and the three of us exchanged pleasantries. While struck by the statuesque, oh-so-thin, blond beauty queen, I found my gaze kept returning to Trafford with her silver coiffed locks and quiet self-assuredness. “You know,” the 67-year-old confided to me as we headed to our separate tables, “love improves with age because women are better at it.”

I called her today to elaborate. The new book she’s writing, As Time Goes By, focuses on love in the over-50 set, attempting to dispel the notion that seniors are too old and crotchety for romance. Rather, she calls it the “high noon” for passion. She’s been spending her days interviewing dozens of older folks, both attached and unattached, including those who’ve remarried each other after getting divorced. “The separation gave them time to find their own space, take care of themselves, and really change the nature of their relationship,” she says. One couple who got back together originally split up because the husband was much older than his wife and was too tempted to be her mentor; after spending time on her own, the wife was able to become more self-sufficient and financially independent. When they reunited, they felt more like equals.

Other couples who stay married over time find themselves feeling a sense of urgency once the kids leave home. “They ask themselves, ‘Who is going to be with me in this next phase?’” says Trafford. “It’s not enough that you don’t fight; you need to have areas of engagement and common interests.” Those who don’t often split up, but those who do find that, like fine wine, their marriage has become richer with time. Most women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond are more confident in themselves and don’t rely as much on their partners’ love for self-assurance. They’re also more aware of their own mortality, which may help them cherish the time they have left. “One couple, both retired, told me that they just decided to be more polite to each other,” she adds. “Who wants to live out their years in a sulk?”

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You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone girl, for the hundredth time
I got your number on my wall, but I ain’t gonna make that call
When divided we stand baby, united we fall

Got the time got a chance gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart gonna take it
All I know I can’t fight this flame
You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I’m crazy ’bout you baby, time after time

Without you
One night alone Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Can’t stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I don’t wanna fight no more, I don’t know what we’re fighting for
When we treat each other baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes

There’s a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time

[Repeat Chorus]

[SOLO]

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I’m crazy ’bout you baby…Crazy…Crazy

Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
If you have a heart at all
Without you
Can’t stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

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I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

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Performed by U2 and B.B. King

I was a sailor, I was lost at sea
I was under the waves
Before love rescued me
I was a fighter, I could turn on a thread
Now I stand accused of the things I’ve said

Love comes to town I’m gonna jump on that train
When love comes to town I’m gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

I used to make love under a red sunset
I was making promises I would soon forget
She was pale as the lace of her wedding gown
But I left her standing before love came to town

I ran into a juke joint when I heard a guitar scream
The notes were turning blue, I was dazing in a dream
As the music played I saw my life turn around
That was the day before love came to town

When love comes to town I’m gonna jump on that train
When love comes to town I’m gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

When love comes to town I’m gonna jump on that train
When love comes to town I’m gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

I was there when they crucified my Lord
I held the scabbard when the soldier drew his sword
I threw the dice when they pierced his side
But I’ve seen love conquer the great divide

When love comes to town I’m gonna catch that train
When love comes to town I’m gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

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